120 Facepalms
by yamigoddesslj
Summary: Well, this is a follow-up to 101 Rules. Apparently, the hikari are sick of coming home and walking in the front door to hear...the strangest things... These are the worst of them. 120 quotes, from the yami themselves! Yami is not a teapot. Oh, the horror.


A/N: From the warped minds that brought you the Disney series (me and my little sister) comes the newest list. I said 'ouch' because I cut my finger a bit while coring an apple and…this happened. A plot bunny attacked me in my own kitchen.

Disclaimer: A couple of these are loose paraphrasing from movies, a couple are quotes. I don't own those. All the other ones are mine and my sister's. Characters aren't mine, either.

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50 Things We Never Want To Hear When We Get Home:

At least, it *used* to be 50. Then you guys went even more insane than usual…and, congratulations! You've passed the 100 point! Don't worry, we still love you! Wuvs, Ryou, Yugi, and Malik

1. "Uh…oh."

2. "Oops."

3. "Success! My giggle ray is now…complete!"

4. "Say hello to my little friend!"

5. "You just got Rickroll'd!"

6. "Wait, it was supposed to go *in* the fridge?"

7. "Eat it or wear it, mothafucka!"

8. "Uh, guys, I think it's broken…blame Marik!"

9. "One, two, three…not guilty!"

10. "Oh gods, it's changing colors!"

11. "Congratulations, you are now…Queen of the Queerbait!"

12. "Wow, Yami. You really look like a girl."

13. "Quick, tie him up and they'll never know!"

14. "I'll need some duct tape, a trash bag, a pair of rubber gloves, and a shovel."

15. "It's not working! Nooot working!"

16. "It won't go down!"

17. "Um, I think it's time to get out the fire extinguisher, since this is *clearly* not working."

18. "If they ask, we were screwing three-way when it happened."

19. "Your leather fetish has gone too far, thief king!"

20. "…And that's how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree."

21. "I'd like to thank the Academy…"

22. "Quick! Hide the pickles! Get rid of the penguin!"

23. "I didn't know it did *that*…"

24. "Guys, I think it's time to buy a new shower head."

25. "Eeew, it's *moving*!"

26. "Duuuuude."

27. "Is it *possible* for something to smell like that?"

28. "Fuck you, Marik, fuck- oh, *snap*!"

29. "And that, my friend, is why we keep explosives locked away from you."

30. "That's not a toy!"

31. "If it's furry and we have to name it, should it be in the fridge?"

32. "Oh my motherfucking gods, the clock is possessed!"

33. "Squeeeeelch…"

34. "It's growing, it's *growing!*"

35. "From now on, I'm not attempting this at home!"

36. "Well, it *looked* like candy…"

37. "This is the- final- straw!"

38. "MIND CRUSH!"

39. "Die, damned machine!"

40. "How do you think they'd feel about an…extreme home makeover, courtesy of yours truly?"

41. "It's *art*! Never mind that it's on the wall!"

42. "He's naaaaked!"

43. "I swear I paid for this!"

44. "Oh, for the love of all that is good and holy in the world…"

45. "Um, whatever that was, we'd better get a new one fast."

46. "Was that supposed to stay *in* the computer? …Oh."

47. "Just…act…natural."

48. "If we smile and say please, anything is possible!"

49. "Oh, we are *so* fucked."

50. "Look, guys! I'm *David Bowie*!"

51. "Did you just pull a Mick Jagger?"

52. "WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!"

53. "It's Chris Crocker, *bitches*…"

54. "Quick! Call the loony bin!"

55. "I think he's dead…but, just to be safe…"

56. "She's gonna blooow!"

57. "I think the best place is behind the couch."

58. "I think I broke something!"

59. "CODE YELLOW POPSICLE!"

60. "Hide all the Nerf guns!"

61. "It's okay, it's okay! Anzu's breathing! Alright, maybe it's not okay."

62. "Oh yeah?"

63. "Well, I *never*…"

64. "Is that *supposed* to be happening?"

65. "Exodia, *obliterate*!"

66. "At least it *looks* edible…"

67. "Marik, you may kiss the bride!"

68. "It…fell over. Yeeeeah."

69. "Alright, positions everybody!"

70. "Maybe if we spontaneously burst into song…"

71. "Holy fish sticks, Flounder! It *talks!*"

72. "That was so *not* epic."

73. "Oh, la-dee-fucking-da."

74. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm *not* scared!"

75. "That was *supposed* to explode, right? Right?"

76. "Ah…much better."

77. "It's all over the place!"

78. "That's what *she* said."

79. "Oh, balls."

80. "It got Marik!"

81. "It was like that when I got here!"

82. "Look, it can fly!"

83. "What're you supposed to be, an electrocuted peacock?"

84. "Look, no hands!"

85. "I'm *not* a little teapot."

86. "Oh my gods, it's *Lady Gaga*!"

87. "I'm 'bout to come out there with a chainsaw 'nd a VENGEANCE!"

88. "GET OFF MAH PROP-ERTY!"

89. "Well, this brings 'fucked-up' to a whole new level…"

90. "Let's get outta here!"

91. "I found the bubble wrap!"

92. "I *dare* you."

93. "I double-dog dare *you.*"

94. "I'm soooo high…"

95. "Well, *I* am the only gay Eskimo!"

96. "It's like a two-for-one deal, am I right?"

97. "Sharpies are officially the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

98. "You look like a cucumber."

99. "You can't be *serious.*"

100. "Yeah, reeeeal funny."

101. "Fuckin' *watch* me!"

102. "I need tweezers and a needle, stat!"

103. "I just threw up in here, people!"

104. "Did I get it?"

105. "Awwww, did I step on joor face?"

106. "Stop it! I'm gonna pee!"

107. "You're insane!"

108. "Well, look on the bright side. At least there's room for a new wall!"

109. "This proves Cartoon Law of Physics Number Three Wrong: When something goes through a wall, it does not leave a hole in its exact shape! Science has taken a leap forward on this day!"

110. "That has got to be the most *disturbing* thing I've ever seen…"

111. "Blood! Oh gods, there's blood!"

112. "Tastes like…cherries."

113. "See, *about* that…"

114. "For the *last* time, I do not get PMS!"

115. "Just ignore the muffled screaming from the bedroom."

116. "This…is…SPARTA!"

117. "And then all three yamis got in huge trouble and were not allowed in or out of the house ever again, so they had to live in outer space."

118. "Card games on motorcycles! They're dangerous!"

119. "Was I supposed to do that *outside*?"

120. "And…that's a wrap, folks!"

Remember: If it makes *any* of you, including Yami, smile, laugh, or scream for longer than twelve seconds, just assume you're not allowed to do it. We. Will. Install. Security. Cameras.

Love you!

Ryou,

Yugi,

Malik

(Hearts drawn around names of Marik, Bakura, and Yami.)

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If it made us say, "Oh, _god_..." when we threw it out in the living room, it's listed...

I am not a little teapot.

Reviews are love! Tell me if it made you lol! If you think of something _you_ don't want to hear when you walk in _your_ front door, tell me! I'd love to hear about what mischief a former pharaoh, a thief lord, and a demonic psychopath could get into in _your_ house...

Yes, all these could have been heard in our house at one point or another! There are three of us (me, my brother, and my sister) so we get into all kinds of trouble! Or...we used to. Yeeeeah. *crash* It wasn't me!


End file.
